Girls are creative, guys are geometric – what ? Well there’s a thing and I’ll prove it to you. Rupert and I were fiddling about in the garden on the ‘farm’ and our ramblings took us down to the car park. Suddenly he started barking furiously.
You get to know the different barks, they’re very expressive and you know when the bark is frivolous and when it is serious and when you live in the country you know when the bark is at a snake. Sure enough, rearing up in front of Rupert was a Rinkhals famous for spitting toxic venom into the potential attacker’s eyes. Rather pretty I thought but showing aggression, the poor thing was probably frightened.
Well we work as a team so I immediately got in on the act. I needed some tuition in the art of snake hunting. I’m a lover, not a fighter and would normally have walked away, but needs must. Rupert saw the Rinkhals as a threat to ‘her indoors’ who he loves unconditionally.
So not understanding the danger and being a creative, I charged in all piss and vinegar. Rupert quickly took charge and took up his position beside me but at an angle.
What is an angle I hear you ask ? Yes, I was also puzzled, but Rupert whispered under his breath “we must approach at right angles as it confuses the snake as he swings his head left and right”.
“Great idea” I said “but what is an angle ?”
Rupert explained what an angle is and specifically what a right angle is. He hissed at me “it’s called a right angle because it’s not a left angle and definitely not a wrong angle but a right angle”. He added “the angle of a right angle is 90 degrees not 89 and certainly not 91”.
All I knew about degrees was from the weather report but I thought it best not to question the connection.
All this talk about triangles reminded me of Reggie telling me about the Triangular Birds that he had encountered when he lived in Parkhurst. Clearly this was a much more serious situation, I didn’t think Rupert was getting excited about a Guinea Fowl.
Now that you have been introduced to the niceties of angles and what is right and what is not, it was time to concentrate on the waving snake.
And that dear reader defines the difference between girls and guys. I was happy with an approximation and was enjoying the symmetry of the cut and thrust and the poetry of sinuous movement while Rupert was intent on checking the precision of the angle and the distance and speed of strike to avoid being spat at or bitten. Distance is very important as your average Rinkhals can spit* approximately 2.5 metres.
Working well together we finally chased the snake away. We strutted back to the house, a job well done.
* Spitting is a filthy habit, you can be fined for spitting on a London bus which explains the lack of Rinkhals on London busses, that and the difficulty of getting travel visas.